Bob Is Dead

I'm always loathe to slam someone else's good time. If you're into crafts or homemade root beer or some television show, I'm all for it. We have a boundless supply of leisure time here in America, and I love the idea that folks can indulge any weird little demon they might have, as long as it doesn't hurt somebody else. But I'm about to go against this usual ordinary rule of thumb and slam the Church of the Subgenius.
I'm sure you've heard of it. The Church was started in the early 80's as a snarky joke religion whose messiah is the ubiquitous pipe-smoking J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, whose cosmic connections can swing you an extra helping of SLACK if you just send in $30.00 for your license as a bona fide Subgenius minister. If you buy any of their publications, like "The Book of the Subgenius" you get lots of hilarious doubletalk and eye-catching hipster graphics. Maybe for those things alone, the thirty bucks could be worth it.
But, and I say this with regret, I'm sorry but the joke is stale. All the talk about zombies, alien overlords and cosmic conspiracies is over. It's all been done, and done to death. Check out alt.slack, the Usenet newsgroup dedicated toSubgenii and their rantings. You want to poke your head in there and catch some wit, some subversive mohjo, something sharp and cunning and unexpected. But what you get is easy irony which even twelve year olds had mastered and discarded by 1995. It's all so easy: the pop culture quotes, the references to consumer products, the facile world-weariness, which is ugly enough in those who have earned it and is utterlly ridiculous on a twenty- or thirty-something. Look, I caught HIV and lost half my eyesight twelve years ago, and I'm not a tenth as bitter as these cats sound.
Back in 1982, they were funny and necessary. Now Ivan Stang, the founder, really ought to close up shop and think up something else. Cuz I'm tellin' you: Mistah Bob? He DAID.